"Gummy" Blog Post

I was looking at blog posts and I found this one, as a Gum LOVER it caught my eye.  Here's the link to the actual blog (Glennbeck.com's Stu Blog) : Click Here 

Or you could read the post right here:

If you remember, Violet turned into a blueberry when she decided to eat gum from Wonka that had not been perfected yet.   The gum was supposed to simulate a three course meal, starting with tomato soup, then roast beef, and finally ending with dessert–blueberry pie.  Of course, the gum hadn’t been released to the public, mainly because it turned people into giant blueberries.  Also, no one would ever want to chew tomato soup flavored gum.  And, Willy Wonka had to deal with  thminor issue of being a fictional character.

Yet, with all of those hurdles, flavor changing gum is finally here.  Something called Stride Shift has been created, and while there isn’t any flavor that simulates tomato soup, the gum actually changes flavors a few minutes in.  Start with a piece of berry or citrus gum, end up with a piece of mint.  It’s really weird and I don’t know how it happens exactly, but it’s the sort of thing that you grow to expect from living in America.

Which brings us to the larger point.  Willy Wonka ran his business like a socialist dictator at the end.  Instead of focusing on making his business as efficient as possible, he was constantly throwing money at perks for himself (like the Wonkavator and an office with everything cut in half for no apparent reason)  not to mention coming up with schemes to help (read: imprison or enslave) people like the Oompa Loompas.   Then, at the end, instead of selling the company through an IPO or something, he just gave it to some supposedly deserving poor kid that STOLE FIZZY LIFTING DRINKS.

Well, Willy–you know what poor kids don’t do well?  Run candy companies.

So, in the end, we needed Kraft—a capitalist company that formerly was part of the Phillip Morris/Altria empire—to step in and do Wonka’s work for him.  That’s right—when we needed a problem to really be fixed—we went to Big Tobacco.   They completey destroyed the weird child-molester-ish guy dressed in purple and the thieving poor kid and his equally guilty grandfather (who sleeps four to a bed), and brought us Stride Shift gum.   If Slugworth were around, he would have finished this project years ago!

So…God bless capitalism…and Slugworth.

(Please  Remember: I did not write this Glenn Beck did) (Also very sorry the video at the Video at the bottom does not work)

~Bwdlake~